Life

Life is attacking on all sides right now. I often feel like I can't take a break to relax and take a deep breath. I don't know why I do this to myself, but I need to stop. Since working at Salt Lake Running Co, I have gotten an offer for a 2nd job coaching. Well, this morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed anyway, but also had an email with my schedule. It's just been so frustrating trying to get my schedules to work together. Originally I thought that there was going to be no problem with my schedules, but apparently not.

I have become a master at working two jobs, going to school and being a wife. But today I decided that is not something to be proud of. Today is my Saturday. I have the day off to get the cleaning done, wash, vacuum the car, and get all my errands done. While busily getting them done today, I thought I was going the flow of the traffic, but that flow of traffic ended me a speeding ticket. I just feel like I can't win today. Just as I was getting into a better mood, feeling good about the things I was getting accomplished I see flashing lights pulling me over. After arriving home I just sat in the car and sobbed, kept asking myself why do I feel I have to be in a hurry all the time. Why can't I just slow down. It's been a couple hours, and I still can't answer that question.

The only thing that I can think of is that I can't work two jobs. I need to just rely on one and have that be our income. It's not something our family can do right now. So rather than quiting a job I will just have to stop driving and just ride my bike. Cops can't pull me over on my bike (unless they are in Cedar City and have nothing else to do).

Life can not be slowed down, my life can't be slowed down or made less complicated (no matter how much I beg it just won't). So I need to make changes to slow my mentality and expectations down. I am so used to doing everything, and being the only one to do anything, I am going to have to lower my expectations to help keep me from getting tickets.