Sunday, February 7, 2016

What NOT to say...

I have found through our journey of waiting to adopt many things are said and I know it's with good intention, but come across very wrong. I have been trying my best to see what people say from their perspective or if I were in their shoes and what I might say. Honestly, if I were not in this situation I may say the same things, which is why I have decided to write this post.

Here is part of a list of things that when or if you are in a situation with someone who is adopting or going through infertility issues to NOT say.

1. Do not use the phrase "Just wait till you have a kid"- honestly, I can hardly wait! Yes, I get that there are MANY sleepless nights, crying babies, runny noses, food thrown at you, spit up on your clothes, germs everywhere but there is also love, kisses, those cute moments that just stop your heart, their first everything, you being everything in their eyes. Yes, there is a lot of crap but there is a whole lot more moments that make being a parent worth it. So don't use that sarcastic tone of just you wait because honestly I can hardly wait.

2. "You'll get pregnant right after you adopt"- Say what?! No, that's not how it works. Yes, there may be those rare cases that you've heard about, but do not tell me that I will be that one, because you don't know. I know there are people who have had that happen, but that doesn't mean that's my case. And I am not adopting to get pregnant, I am adopting to become a Mom.

3. "You're lucky you don't have to ruin your little body"- Um... Ok? But I would give anything to have that experience of going through pregnancy. I know you may be trying to make me feel better, but that doesn't. Through pregnancy your body is creating a new person! How amazing is that, those tiger stripes are the proof of the miracle your child is. Scars on our bodies tell a story of the life we have lived, and I have scars from surgery and injury but one scar I would give to have is that of the miracle of a child. Take a look at yourself and how amazing that is, rather than with regret or distaste, because there is someone like me who wishes they could have that.

4. "If you didn't run so much you'd get pregnant"- I run because of the person I am because of it. I run to be patient, I run for therapy, I run through joy, I run through emotional pain, I run because I love it. That isn't the reason for us adopting. Oh, AND there are SO many professional runners out there (thinner than me) who are able to have kids healthily, so it's not my running. Being physically active and fit is just who I am, but having goals gives me a focus and a drive I wouldn't have otherwise. I am not going to sit and wait for life to happen, I am going after it one adventure at a time with open arms and hope that becoming a Mom will happen soon.

5. "I totally understand how you feel, it took us two months to get pregnant"- I do understand that the hope is to get pregnant right away when you've made that decision to have kids. I really, really do, however, only waiting a couple months for that pregnancy test is so much different than waiting 6.5 years to see a positive pregnancy test, one that will never happen. I do understand it's with best intention of trying to understand and empathize with the situation, however from my perspective you got the positive pregnancy test. All of us who go through infertility go through completely different situations so none of us actually know what one is going through, but the longer you go the more you can understand others dealing with infertility.

Again, I will say I know people mean well and they want to fix my problems, however these aren't fixes especially in our situation. We are so grateful for everyone in our lives who support us, given words of encouragement and is excited for us to have a little one join our family. Thank you for the continued support, and prayers in our behalf! We love you.

Monday, September 14, 2015

The Power of One Word: WHY

Two weeks ago I was asked to speak at a Running Group in Tucson Az. After much thought they asked me to speak on why I run. Wow. That sounds simple right? Wrong. On the surface it’s a simple answer right now, for fitness. Honestly though, think about it. Why?
                Now apply this to your life: Why do you do the things you do? Why do you wish for certain things? Why do you wake up when you do? Why do you do things the way you do? I promise you there is a big answer there that we just haven’t truly thought about, and this is what this simple yet significant question brought to my attention.
                Well, what’s my answer then? This goes back to when I was 6 years old, when I ran my first 5k with my dad. I did it because my hero did it. Then it morphed when I was 15 years old because it was a part of a triathlon. If I wanted to compete and be any good I needed to train and run. From there it changed again, only this time it wasn’t so simple or healthy, I ran to lose weight, to be thin, to push myself even harder, because I had an eating disorder. I ran to escape my feelings of not feeling good enough, I ran as a torture for myself for the food that I ate. Ugh, but I ran myself sick.
                I was running to a point in where it was to punish myself because I hadn’t found a positive relationship with myself, with food or what I did. I needed help. Fortunately I got the help I needed. After years of work and continual work now,  I transitioned to run to compete again. I competed because I could, because I wanted to and I loved the elation of accomplishment and comradery it brought.
                Fast forward years later I still run for competition, but not as much as I had 4 years previous, I now run because simply I love it. Running has been my therapy, it has been my companion, brought me a sense of identity but also a family and community away from family. Running has brought be so close to so many people and wonderful connections in my life I can’t imagine not having.
                My relationship with myself, my mind, food and physical activity is so much more balanced after having gone through all that I have. In 20 years my purpose for running has changed, and it has changed me. I run simply because I love it.

                Now think about your life. Why don’t you? Or why do you do things? Are you doing things because you love it, because you love yourself OR because you are torturing yourself? I ran for a good part of 6 years to torture myself, but that didn’t bring me peace or love, only heartache. Do what you do because you love who you are because of it.
Thanks to the Goatographer

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

What is in your food?

Nutrient -
Daily Amount Needed
Fruit Sources
Vitamin A

10,000 IU/day (plant-derived) for adult males.
8,000 for adult females - 12,000 if lactating.
4,000 for children ages 1-3
5,000 for children ages 4-6
7,000 for children ages 7-10
Vitamin A helps cell reproduction. It also stimulates immunity and is needed for formation of some hormones. Vitamin A helps vision and promotes bone growth, tooth development, and helps maintain healthy skin, hair, and mucous membranes.
Alpha-carotene, beta-carotene and retinol are all versions of Vitamin A.
Most fruits contain vitamin A, but the following fruits have a significant amount:
Most legumes do not contain a significant amount of Vitamin A
Vitamin B1 (thiamine)

1.2 mg for adult males and 1.1 mg for women - 1.5 mg if lactating. Children need .6 to .9 mg of B1/thiamine per day.
Vitamin B1/thiamine is important in the production of energy. It helps the body cells convert carbohydrates into energy. It is also essential for the functioning of the heart, muscles, and nervous system. Not getting enough thiamine can leave one fatigued and weak.
Note: Most fruits and vegetables are not a significant source of thiamine.
Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin)

1.3 mg for adult males and 1.1 mg for women - 1.5 mg if pregnant/lactating.
Children need .6 to .9 mg of B2/riboflavin per day.
Vitamin B2 or riboflavin is important for body growth, reproduction and red cell production. It also helps in releasing energy from carbohydrates.
Vitamin B3 (niacin)

16 mg for adult males and 14 mg for women - 17-18 mg if pregnant/lactating.
Children need 9 - 16 mg of niacin per day.
Niacin assists in the functioning of the digestive system, skin, and nerves. It is also important for the conversion of food to energy.
Vitamin B5 (pantothenic acid)

5 mg for adults and 6 - 7 mg for women who are pregnant or lactating.
Children need 2 - 4 mg of pantothenic acid per day.
Pantothenic acid is essential for the metabolism of food as well as in the formation of hormones and (good) cholesterol.
Vitamin B6 (pryidoxine)

1.3 to 1.7 mg for adults - 2 mg for women who are pregnant or lactating.
Children need between 0.6 to 1.3 mg B6 per day.
B6 plays a role in the creation of antibodies in the immune system. It helps maintain normal nerve function and acts in the formation of red blood cells. It is also required for the chemical reactions of proteins. The higher the protein intake, the more need there is for vitamin B6. Too little B6 in the diet can cause dizziness, nausea, confusion, irritability and convulsions.
Vitamin B9 (folate/folic acid)

At least 400 mcgs for most adults - pregnant women 600 mcgs and breastfeeding women should get at least 500 mcgs.
Children need between 150 to 300 mcg per day.
Folate and folic acid are both forms of B9. Folate occurs naturally in fresh foods, whereas folic acid is the synthetic form found in supplements. Your body needs folate to produce red blood cells, as well as components of the nervous system.
Most legumes are good sources of Folate but these are very good sources:
Black Eye Peas
Soy Beans 
Vitamin B12

2.4 mcg for adults and 2.6 - 2.8 mcg for women who are pregnant or lactating.
Children need 0.9 - 2.4 mcg per day.
Like the other B vitamins, vitamin B12 is important for metabolism. It helps in the formation of red blood cells and in the maintenance of the central nervous system.
Vitamin B12 is the one vitamin that is available only from fish, poultry, meat or dairy sources in food.
No nuts contain a significant amount of vitamin B12.
Legumes do not contain a significant amount of vitamin B12.
Vitamin C

60 mg for adults - 70 mg for women who are pregnant and 95 for those lactating.
Children need between 45 and 50 mg
Vitamin C is one of the most important of all vitamins. It plays a significant role as an antioxidant, thereby protecting body tissue from the damage of oxidation. Antioxidants act to protect your cells against the effects of free radicals, which are potentially damaging by-products of the body’s metabolism.
Other than
Chestnuts, most nuts do not contain a significant amount of vitamin C.
Other thanEdamame, most legumes do not contain a significant amount of vitamin C.
Vitamin D

5 mcg (200 iu) for most adults. Between 50 - 70 yrs 10 mcg (400 iu), and after 70 15 mcg (600 iu).
Children need about 5 mcg (200 iu)/day.
Vitamin D is known as the "sunshine vitamin" since it is manufactured by the body after being exposed to sunshine. Ten to fifteen minutes of good sunshine three times weekly is adequate to produce the body's requirement of vitamin D.
No nuts contain a significant amount of vitamin D.
Legumes do not contain a significant amount of vitamin D.
Vitamin E

30 IU for most adults. Children need between 6-11 mg/day. (1 IU is equal to approximately .75 mg)
Note: some researchers and medical experts believe that with all of the positive studies using higher doses of vitamin E, this daily recommended intake is not high enough.
Like vitamin C, vitamin E plays a significant role as an antioxidant, thereby protecting body tissue from the damage of oxidation. It is important in the formation of red blood cells and the use of vitamin K. Many women also use it to help minimize the appearance of wrinkles, and mothers use it to help heal minor wounds without scarring, as it is valued for its ability to soothe and heal broken or stressed skin tissue.
Vitamin K

70-80 micrograms/day for adult males, 60-65 micrograms per day for adult females.
Children need about half the amount, depending on age.
Vitamin K is fat soluble and plays a critical role in blood clotting. It regulates blood calcium levels and activates at least 3 proteins involved in bone health.