Two weeks ago I was asked to speak at a Running Group in Tucson
Az. After much thought they asked me to speak on why I run. Wow. That sounds
simple right? Wrong. On the surface it’s a simple answer right now, for
fitness. Honestly though, think about it. Why?
Now
apply this to your life: Why do you do the things you do? Why do you wish for
certain things? Why do you wake up when you do? Why do you do things the way
you do? I promise you there is a big answer there that we just haven’t truly thought
about, and this is what this simple yet significant question brought to my
attention.
Well,
what’s my answer then? This goes back to when I was 6 years old, when I ran my
first 5k with my dad. I did it because my hero did it. Then it morphed when I
was 15 years old because it was a part of a triathlon. If I wanted to compete
and be any good I needed to train and run. From there it changed again, only
this time it wasn’t so simple or healthy, I ran to lose weight, to be thin, to
push myself even harder, because I had an eating disorder. I ran to escape my
feelings of not feeling good enough, I ran as a torture for myself for the food
that I ate. Ugh, but I ran myself sick.
I was
running to a point in where it was to punish myself because I hadn’t found a
positive relationship with myself, with food or what I did. I needed help.
Fortunately I got the help I needed. After years of work and continual work
now, I transitioned to run to compete
again. I competed because I could, because I wanted to and I loved the elation
of accomplishment and comradery it brought.
Fast forward
years later I still run for competition, but not as much as I had 4 years
previous, I now run because simply I love it. Running has been my therapy, it
has been my companion, brought me a sense of identity but also a family and
community away from family. Running has brought be so close to so many people
and wonderful connections in my life I can’t imagine not having.
My
relationship with myself, my mind, food and physical activity is so much more
balanced after having gone through all that I have. In 20 years my purpose for
running has changed, and it has changed me. I run simply because I love it.
Now
think about your life. Why don’t you? Or why do you do things? Are you doing
things because you love it, because you love yourself OR because you are
torturing yourself? I ran for a good part of 6 years to torture myself, but
that didn’t bring me peace or love, only heartache. Do what you do because you
love who you are because of it.
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| Thanks to the Goatographer |
