Well, it's the 2nd of February, the verdict is that Spring will be coming early this year (which I am looking forward to). February is the month of love. Everyone gets their Valentine and shows them how much they love them, often getting engaged, married or some I have known break up. It's quite a roller coaster of emotions this month is. I always hated February, although it's better than January. I didn't like the emphasis of dating and such, it made for some real awkward Valentines for me. Most of the time I had to work that day because everyone else was out on some hot dates, so I'd go home and hang out with my parents or usually just my dog because that's who was around. In Junior High and High School the week before people would send flowers to their friends or who they liked (I always wished for one, even if it was from my mom). It would feel nice to get a flower during school. I don't think I ever did. But you know what? That doesn't matter now.
I would call Valentines Day Single's Awareness Day, and would dread it. Now it has a whole new meaning to me. Who knew that I would change my negative outlook on such a Holiday?? Not me.
I have been very blessed. I have a wonderful family, and always have, recently I married into yet another wonderful family. Wow. I have three families? Even to just have one I should have been celebrating my love for my siblings, parents and my cute dog (even though she always snuck in my room and ate my valentines candy from my mom). We are given so many things to celebrate everyday, so why not embrace it? Why didn't I see it earlier? I would have been more fun to be around I am sure :).
We really should celebrate everyday as Valentines Day. We don't need a day on the calendar that comes once a year for us to tell our loved ones how much we love them. We should be doing it everyday!
My goal this month is to work on showing Nathan how much I love him everyday, by helping out even if I have a lot going on, by letting him play that extra game when I want him to pay attention to me, and by playing at least one game with him when he asks instead of saying no because he's no fun to play with (I always loose, it's not fun). By making small sacrifices for our loved onces this year we can improve our relationships and better how we feel as well.
I am real excited to try this, and it will take a lot of work for me to do, but it's going to be worth it. Happy February! <3
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Fear
Back when I was about 9 or 10 (not sure) I was big into diving and gymnastics. I was sure that I was going to go to the Olympics either one or both.
My mom would take my siblings and I to our neighbors to swim during the summers, and we would have fun playing games, jumping off the diving board and practicing our dives and tricks. One summer after noon we were practicing, and I wanted to perfect my back flip. I was destined to be awesome. As I was practicing I didn't rotate right so I ended up hitting my head and back on the board, which knocked me out and dumped me into the pool.
Luckily for me I have an awesome older brother that jumped in and saved me. I don't remember much from the whole thing except I have been really scared of the deep end since.
Most of you may know, that I swam and played water polo in high school, as well as compete in triathlons. I was also a Life guard and swim instructor for almost 7 years. So, why would someone who had spent more than 50% of her life in a pool be afraid of the deep end?
Well, you see, when other people are in the pool and swimming, I am okay and don't think about it. But as soon as I am the only one in the pool I have a panic attack. I also often have panic attacks while swimming in open water (i.e. the ocean, lakes). Yes, I am sure this just sounds so odd, oh well. It's just one of my deep fears is drowning.
While I was working as a life guard, I actually strapped on a weight belt, had an oxygen thing, and jumped to the bottom of the pool for a drill. We were testing one of the life guards on his submerged rescues. What we didn't realize was that he was a complete idiot. As I was down there we decided that I should undo the oxygen hose so he would think it's a rescue, but what happened was that he didn't see me, so I was stuck at the bottom of the pool. With the weight belt on I weighed around 200 + lbs. I am not used to that much weight, so I couldn't swim up with all that heavy weight attached to me. I started to panic when after a minute he didn't rescue me, and I couldn't get the weight belt off me, the strap was stuck. Again, luckily for me one of my friends who was supposed to be monitoring the rescue noticed that I was panicking and jumped in and rescued me.
Again, my fear of being in deep water was instilled in my brain. Though I still have continued swimming, I just can't swim by myself.
Last night I went to the University of Utah pool for a swim. Boy was is busy. So I hopped in the pool to start my laps, first I had some goggle issues, but eventually fixed them. I started my swim, I was feeling a little sluggish, but it felt good to be in the water. Eventually I realize I am the only one in the pool. I stop look around and realize everyone that had been in that pool had left. Though the other pool was still full and busy, I watched the life guard to see if I needed to get out, but they didn't say anything. I watch people around me they all head to the other pool. I still don't get why no one got in the pool I was in. I decided to start swimming. I went under water and started to panic again. I just kept thinking what is wrong with me? I am 22 years old I have been swimming all my life I am a pretty decent swimming why can't I just do this. I took another 5 minutes to coax myself back to my swimming and to just take it 100 yds. at a time. So I did. Though I only did another 500 yds I did it. I swam all by myself in the pool. In the deep end none the less.
This is the time for all of us to look our fears in the eyes and understand them, why we are afraid of what ever it is and to give it a nice punch in the face. I got home and told Nathan I was just so excited that I did it. I made it 500 yds all by myself. I faced my fear (not by choice) but I did it and I gave it a nice upper cut to the jaw and a jab to the nose.
I hope this year we can all work a little more to become more confident in things that give us a hard time, to stand up to our own personal bullies. Just know that YOU CAN DO IT!!
My mom would take my siblings and I to our neighbors to swim during the summers, and we would have fun playing games, jumping off the diving board and practicing our dives and tricks. One summer after noon we were practicing, and I wanted to perfect my back flip. I was destined to be awesome. As I was practicing I didn't rotate right so I ended up hitting my head and back on the board, which knocked me out and dumped me into the pool.
Luckily for me I have an awesome older brother that jumped in and saved me. I don't remember much from the whole thing except I have been really scared of the deep end since.
Most of you may know, that I swam and played water polo in high school, as well as compete in triathlons. I was also a Life guard and swim instructor for almost 7 years. So, why would someone who had spent more than 50% of her life in a pool be afraid of the deep end?
Well, you see, when other people are in the pool and swimming, I am okay and don't think about it. But as soon as I am the only one in the pool I have a panic attack. I also often have panic attacks while swimming in open water (i.e. the ocean, lakes). Yes, I am sure this just sounds so odd, oh well. It's just one of my deep fears is drowning.
While I was working as a life guard, I actually strapped on a weight belt, had an oxygen thing, and jumped to the bottom of the pool for a drill. We were testing one of the life guards on his submerged rescues. What we didn't realize was that he was a complete idiot. As I was down there we decided that I should undo the oxygen hose so he would think it's a rescue, but what happened was that he didn't see me, so I was stuck at the bottom of the pool. With the weight belt on I weighed around 200 + lbs. I am not used to that much weight, so I couldn't swim up with all that heavy weight attached to me. I started to panic when after a minute he didn't rescue me, and I couldn't get the weight belt off me, the strap was stuck. Again, luckily for me one of my friends who was supposed to be monitoring the rescue noticed that I was panicking and jumped in and rescued me.
Last night I went to the University of Utah pool for a swim. Boy was is busy. So I hopped in the pool to start my laps, first I had some goggle issues, but eventually fixed them. I started my swim, I was feeling a little sluggish, but it felt good to be in the water. Eventually I realize I am the only one in the pool. I stop look around and realize everyone that had been in that pool had left. Though the other pool was still full and busy, I watched the life guard to see if I needed to get out, but they didn't say anything. I watch people around me they all head to the other pool. I still don't get why no one got in the pool I was in. I decided to start swimming. I went under water and started to panic again. I just kept thinking what is wrong with me? I am 22 years old I have been swimming all my life I am a pretty decent swimming why can't I just do this. I took another 5 minutes to coax myself back to my swimming and to just take it 100 yds. at a time. So I did. Though I only did another 500 yds I did it. I swam all by myself in the pool. In the deep end none the less.
This is the time for all of us to look our fears in the eyes and understand them, why we are afraid of what ever it is and to give it a nice punch in the face. I got home and told Nathan I was just so excited that I did it. I made it 500 yds all by myself. I faced my fear (not by choice) but I did it and I gave it a nice upper cut to the jaw and a jab to the nose.
I hope this year we can all work a little more to become more confident in things that give us a hard time, to stand up to our own personal bullies. Just know that YOU CAN DO IT!!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Sugar High
So, yesterday while I was doing some of my school work, for once, I was watching a video called "Killer at Large". It is about Obesity in America and why it's so bad, and showed a couple of young kids (talking about 12 years old) that were over 300 lbs. and got lipo as well as tummy tucks and suck, but later gained the weight back, and why we have such a problem with that. One thing they said that struck me was:
"Sugar has the same effect on the brain as illicit drugs"
WHAT!!!!!
Um... Scary!
I talked to Nathan about this fact when I got home from work (because pretty sure I am a sugar freak). Well he simply reminded me that it's just the addiction of sugar that provides that high. For example I knew this guy a long time ago that would eat tubs of frosting with a spoon ALL the time! Yeah that is call sugar addiction. Well, I am addicted to running, it's how I get through my emotions, sort out my problems, it's so I can think clearly and be a little more rational the rest of the day.
One problem... I can't run for a couple more weeks. So what have I been doing?? Turning to sugar and ice cream. Ah! No! I can't.
So here is what I am thinking. I need to consume more calories or just better foods (fruits and veggies) through out the day so my body will receive enough energy so that I won't crave sugar so much. I have got to get this thing kicked in the butt.
My goal to all of you is that I will focus on eating better through out the day, if I am board and want to snack I will have popcorn or fruits and veggies snacky foods with out a lot of sugar or calories but just enough nutrients for my body to feel satisfied later. Also, last night I made some yummy granola bars so instead of going for the cookies or ice cream I will go for the granola bars instead, so that I am getting the sweet as well as healthier food, and I will eat less of it.
I love making goals and projects for myself, but sometimes it's just SO hard to do by myself, if you'd like to do it with me or just check up on me that would be AWESOME!
Also... just so you know my hair is still growing out. I haven't thought about cutting it lately, which is good. I have been putting it up in a pony tail everyday by about 1 or 2, but when my hair gets loner it won't be so annoying in this awkward stage. I will post pictures later. And I have not straightened my hair since my birthday. I will straighten it in a couple of weeks when Nathans out of town :) he doesn't like it straight.
Starting TODAY I will focus on better foods, but if I need a little something in the evening I will have a healthy choice. I will kick my habits and through blogging and journal writing I will focus on sorting through my thoughts and get my emotional ups and downs flattened out :)
Thanks guys for your support :)
"Sugar has the same effect on the brain as illicit drugs"
WHAT!!!!!
Um... Scary!
I talked to Nathan about this fact when I got home from work (because pretty sure I am a sugar freak). Well he simply reminded me that it's just the addiction of sugar that provides that high. For example I knew this guy a long time ago that would eat tubs of frosting with a spoon ALL the time! Yeah that is call sugar addiction. Well, I am addicted to running, it's how I get through my emotions, sort out my problems, it's so I can think clearly and be a little more rational the rest of the day.
One problem... I can't run for a couple more weeks. So what have I been doing?? Turning to sugar and ice cream. Ah! No! I can't.
My goal to all of you is that I will focus on eating better through out the day, if I am board and want to snack I will have popcorn or fruits and veggies snacky foods with out a lot of sugar or calories but just enough nutrients for my body to feel satisfied later. Also, last night I made some yummy granola bars so instead of going for the cookies or ice cream I will go for the granola bars instead, so that I am getting the sweet as well as healthier food, and I will eat less of it.
I love making goals and projects for myself, but sometimes it's just SO hard to do by myself, if you'd like to do it with me or just check up on me that would be AWESOME!
Also... just so you know my hair is still growing out. I haven't thought about cutting it lately, which is good. I have been putting it up in a pony tail everyday by about 1 or 2, but when my hair gets loner it won't be so annoying in this awkward stage. I will post pictures later. And I have not straightened my hair since my birthday. I will straighten it in a couple of weeks when Nathans out of town :) he doesn't like it straight.
Starting TODAY I will focus on better foods, but if I need a little something in the evening I will have a healthy choice. I will kick my habits and through blogging and journal writing I will focus on sorting through my thoughts and get my emotional ups and downs flattened out :)
Thanks guys for your support :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
